Job interview went pretty well today. Hopefully I'll get the job. But I had to fill out paperwork with questions like "why do you want to be a part of our team?" and "What are your goals?" and "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I HATE these kinds of questions. Basically I gave them a bunch of BS about being a team player, etc. But I wish I could really say "I want to join your team so I can make more money. My goal is to make money, and in five years I see myself making lots more money than I make now." But, you just can't say those kinds of things.
And thanks to medic119 for these little gems of time-wasters....
I always wanted to drive the batmobile when I was a kid. Hooray!!! Imagine my kids in that. My teenager would never get to borrow the keys - or maybe I could program it to keep teenagers out of trouble. Hmmm......
Which 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' actor are you!? brought to you by Quizilla I was happy with this, even though I'm a girl 'cuz I love Drew Carey.
The good news - just got off the phone and I have a job interview tomorrow at the place I was talking about earlier this week. So I'm skipping school tomorrow to go to the interview. Hooray!!!!!
The bad news - the stupid-head apartment managers have decided that my housekeeping in unacceptable based on when they came to fix my sink. ALL of my dishes were piled up in the kitchen because my sink, and therefor my dishwasher, weren't draining. My garbage disposal was/is still broken And my middle child had spilled four and glitter all over the floor in the rest of the house while I was asleep the night before. So I have until Teusday morning to get the place spotless or be evicted. Won't be too hard, except that I'm having to wash the dishes in the bathtub since my sink and dishwasher STILL won't drain. At least it's a 3-day weekend. Sigh.
OTher than that had a good day at school, and went to se Signs with a couple of friends during our lunch break, It was OK, but probably could have waited for it to come out on video.
Why is that being old entitles people to demand we give them things??? This has been bugging me for a long time, but now that my mom is getting active in the AARP, it's really starting to gripe me. Especially this. Why should I have to buy Bob Dole's Viagra? Yeah, I know old people worked hard and deserve respect, but they don't deserve my paycheck. When the baby boomers start to hit retirement age, we're in big trouble. There are more of them than there are of us. Who's going to pay for them, and their ever-increasing demands that the government fork over more money for services??
The thing that really bugs me about the whole prescription drug thins is that, as a working younger adult I can't afford prescriptions. Yes, I have health insurance, but we don't have drug coverage. Nope. And I have Lupus. If I paid for my prescriptions it would be over $200/month. Notice I said if. You see, there's this magic thing called, say it with me, samples that my doctor gives me. All I have to do is ask. And, on the off chance he doesn't have what I need there's also the magic thing called generics. Sometimes my doctor even orders samples for me. You see, the big mega-million dollar drug companies WANT my doctor to use them. So they GIVE him free drugs to hand out. All he has to do is ask them, I ask him. Life is beautiful. Now I do have to put up with popping the pills out of the little blister packs, or only having 5 pills in a bottle. And whenever I leave the office I have a grocery bag full of stuff. But I am ever so thankful, and the drug companies are ever so happy to have me taking their products, and my doctor is happy because he knows I'm taken care of.
In addition to the samples, many drug companies have discount programs for seniors. Yeah, you do have to fill out paperwork. So what. I fill out paperwork every day of my life. Get over it. And for really poor seniors, there is gasp! Medicaid to cover the expense of medications.
But the thing that REALLY gripes me is that these people who are living off my dime anyway are the first ones to complain that my kids are on medicaid. And yet in the next breath they will demand that they get tax-payer funded drug coverage without any need-based testing. At least I have a job - I work and pay taxes. And I'm going to school to improve myself so I can pay MORE taxes. These people won't be paying more taxes. They will be draining more and more of our economic resources until there's nothing left for us when we get old enough to "rightfully" demand government money too.
OK - I know it's unusual for me to rant on a topic like this - but just got in a BIG fight with my mom about this. So, until next time, this is your ungrateful, cruel, uncaring hostess wishing you all a good day.
Back to school, back to work. Not much going on besides that. It's nice having the kiddos out of the house right now. I can actually sit hee and get some work done, not that I'm getting paid for it or anything. But it keeps the gripe level down in when I go into the office if I have something to show.
Also my boss had installed a clock thingy on my computer that times how long I run the programs related to work. Believe me, if he doesn't cut this paranoid crap soon it will take me ALOT longer to do my work than it is now. What really bites is I'm supposed to be getting a flat fee for doing the stuff I do, but he's been paying me hourly. Not to mention that every time I come into the office I'm immediately jumped on for all the stuff that went wrong since last time I was here. Now I will repeat my mantra "when the child support starts, when the child support starts."
Had fun at school today. Tons of homework though. And still no cable.
It hasn't been too bad here - we just had a thunderstorm roll through. Wasn't too bad and the lightning was way cool. But man, I hurt. I feel like my grandmother. Typing is REALLY painful right now - and even though I had time earlier I just couldn't do it. I sure hope it's just the weather and not my Lupus flaring again. I got off prednisone early this year and have been fine since. I've tried some of the new drugs for arthritis like Celebrex, but they tear up my stomach, so I hate to take them. But if this goes on much longer I may have to.
Other than that, things are like normal around here. Still no cable. I told the cable guy to wait until Monday so I can get my house clean. Apparently the same thing that has my phones screwed up is also affecting my cable. Yep - my phone is through the cable company.
Some good news - got a new carpet cleaner today!!! I'll be taking a celebrex and a bottle of Tums tomorrow so I can use it. It also has a bare floor attatchment. Yippee!!!! I try to clean my (light beige) carpets once a month. My kids are kids, and middle child has really bad allergies so it really helps.
I have a few things I wanna talk about but since I'm hurting they'll have to wait.
BF has taken a job in Nashville. So he is moving. This weekend he's going up there to look for a house. So I guess that's pretty much over. We'll still be friends and go out when he's in town, but we both agree that right now it just won't work. Oh, well. I guess this was one of the reasons we never got really really close - that, and we really didn't have alot in common besides our kids. I'm into Sci-Fi, he's not. I love coffee, he's not into it. He likes country music, it makes my ears bleed. I like to go camping, hiking, whatever, he's rather not. He's trying to get into law school and the job up there will be better for him and his kids. I should have known this was going to happen sooner rather than later as he didn't register for classes this semester. He was only taking one class at a time, working, taking care of his kids. It's alot. Anyway, I'm not devestated, but still feel kinda blue.
Since I've been in the lab for the past couple of nights, and the cable is out, I think the kiddos and I will go out to dinner (McD's) go to the pet store (I'm out of cat food and kitty litter) and watch a couple of DVDs. Then after they go to bed I'll wallow in self pity for awhile and play on the 'puter.
It's times like this that I wish I wasn't such a loner. I have lots of people that I consider "friends" but nobody nearby that I would call to hang out. My best friends live in far away, and most likely they have plans tonight. My oldest is spending the night at my mom's to help clean her house and make some $$. So tonight I couldn't go out if I wanted to - since the kiddos need to be in bed around 8pm and I need to spend some time with them anyway.
Oh, well... Guess I'll curl up with my p-chem book and lose myself in the elegance of the equations.
Today was the first day of my senior year(s) in college. P-chem. Which looks like it's going to be alot better than organic, as I suspected. But I think I'm going to drop the lab. I wasn;t going to take it anyway, but since the class was almost going to be cancelled for lack of enrollment, I was coerced into signing up. But the lab instructor doesn't speak English very well, and he's a jerk to boot. The faculty member who was supposed to be over it quit a few weeks ago, so this guy's going to be doing it all be himself. Sorry - think I'll take it next year when I have to take cell biology. Since they only offer it at the same time as the biochem class I have to take in order to take the next sememster of bio-p-chem.
Not alot of other news today. I'm glad to be back in school, though I have absolutely nothing in common with anybody in any of my classes at all. They are all kids, they act like kids. They are concerned about sororoties/fraternities/parties, etc. I am concerned about balancing my checkbook and what to fix for supper in the few minutes I'm home between class and lab.
Thanks to medic119 for feeding my bad quiz habit with this little gem:
At about 4:30 I got a call at work from the management of our apartment complex. My two youngest kids were in the pool, by themselves. And the manager told me it was the SECOND time she'd shooed them out this afternoon. I called home, trying to get hold of my oldest - almost 15yr old - and got no answer. So I left work in a hurry, flew home, and found my little ones playing out in the rain in front of our building - yes, we had thunderstorms today. While they were in the pool. I found my oldest asleep on the couch. Aparently we had fallen asleep while doing homework and the little ones had gone out. So now we are all grounded, and tomorrow I am taking all three of them up to the office to apollogize to the manager for breaking the rules.
I'm absolutely livid at these kids, but at the same time I'm so glad they are OK. So many things could have happened, drowning, lightning, abduction. I kept having visions of myself on the news being asked stupid questions. My heart rate has finallyslowed down to slightly above normal. And the swim apparently tired out my middle child - who is now asleep.
After I collected everyone I drug them all to Home Depot where I purchased a chain for the door, a lock for the sliding glass door, and latches for the bedroom and clopset doors I want my kiddos to stay out of - only problem is I don't have any drill bits for my drill. So I'll be installing them tomorrow.
Other than that, this evening has been pretty boring. Did a load of laundry, loaded my bookbag, got some papers together for youngest's school, made spaghetti, and worked on my resume. Now I'm doing this and getting ready to go to bed. Have a nice evening everybody.
Woke up this morning thinking it was tomorrow. And I woke up at 7am (due to forgetting to re-set alarm clock from power outage), meaning that I was going to be LATE LATE LATE getting everybody where they needed to be. Threw clothes on kiddos and preceeded gathering everything I needed for school. Thank heavens oldest reminded me that I start tomorrow. Sheesh.
Only middle child was late, and only 3 minutes at that. I will be glad when youngest is in headstart and I don't have to depend on arrival of babysitter.
So tomorrow I start school. I am hoping that now I am in mostly SR level classes it won't feel so much like I'm in a highschool or something. It's just a weird feeling, being older than alot of my professors, and most of the class is only a few years older than my eldest child. And I have a tendency to mother these kids. Last year there were a few that came to my house for a home-cooked meal (they brought the food, I cooked it) and just to hang out after studying. And they come to me for advice on everything from stain removal to relationship advice. Some of them even call me mom. Yep. I'm old.
Came home from running errands to find the power had been out for several hours. Like from 9am till 2pm. Good thing nobody was home and all the stuff in my freezer stayed frozen. Got a thing of Reese's PB icecream in there - would be a sin and a shame to lose it. Anyway - I called the power company and they came over to fix the problem. Turns out they were suppose to disconnect my former next-door naighbors, and got me by mistake. Oh well, no harm done, except it's hotter than heck now. Grilled out to avoid heating up the kitchen any further. We face west and so we get the full effect of the afternoon sun. It was hot.
Picked up my books for next semester. $735 worth. Bought a used older edition of my biochem book for cheap. They're backordered now and so I'd rather have an old one than no book at all for a bit. HAd to but a new calculator for economics and p-chem. Can't find my super-duper graphing calculator, so I got a cheap one that will run a few basic functions at Wal-Mart. I know my super-duper graphing calculator will turn up now. Sidenote - I still haven't figured out how to use the super-duper graphing calculator beyond a few basic functions.
Now I'm torn between reading The Hobbit which I could probably finish tomorrow, or digging into my p-chem book. There's alot of physics in p-chem (it is physical chemistry) and I actually understand it. I like it SOOOOOO much better than organic.
Well, kids are going nuts...
Good thing for today: New books!! I love the smell of new books.
I have to be up in 2.5 hours. I cannot sleep. And it's too late to take something for it. So My oldest (who also is suffering from insomnia) just made a pot of my famous cinnamon coffee. Mmmmmm.....
Oldest is giving a big speech tomorrow for SGA. I was never motivated to do anything like that in school. We did this on a dare. One gutsy kid. Platform - the school spent $$$$$$ on a new band room and is getting a new football field. But there isn't enough money for the kiddos to each have their own books in several of the classes. History is one. So we are campaigning to change that. We have alot of support from the student body. Though none of them likes homework, they do realize they need to have books to study. Our slogan - "One student, One textbook". We are working on it.
Middle one was awakened by the cat under the bed but went back to sleep after we saw it was indeed the cat, and not a monster. See, mommy said there was no such things as monsters. I'll have to review our TV diet to see what brought this on. When we were two, we watched Lady and the Tramp and had nightmares about rats for weeks. Sensitive child.
We had rain today - boy did it rain. Classic summer thunderstorm. Oldest and I were sitting on the porch enjoying it when the wind started howling. Loud. I noticed the siding to our building flying across the street as we hurried into the apartment. Siding on the second floor is badly mangled. Other than that, no damage that I saw. Middle child slept through it all, even though the thunder shook the building. Youngest woke up as soon as the first clap of thunder hit. Sat on the couch watching the weather channel. Don't ask - I don't know. Maybe because I said there was bad weather? I dunno.
Overall, a great day. Didn't do alot. Cleaned a bit. Read a bit. Just enjoyed life and the kiddos.
Good thing for today: No storm damage, and got to play Barbie Explorer on PS1 for hours with both little ones. And they won EVERY time. Go figure.
Cornbread's in the oven and coffee's brewing. Kids are waking up (yeah, we slept late) and life is good. I wish I could take moments like this and bottle them for when life gets difficult. My financial situation still sucks, and my job still sucks, but somehow this morning they don't seem to be as pressing.
Somebody remind me of this in a few day (or a few minutes) when life starts kicking me in the behind again.
Of course if you want to know your Elven name, Orc name, or Dwarf name, go to The Barrow-Downs Multi-Name Generator and have some fun. Annoy all of your friends and relatives by calling them by their proper high elven names. Call your boss by his rightful Orc name.
My comments keep disappearing. The site that hosts them keeps going down. I might need to find another comment system. Or better yet, maybe I should get some web space and host my own. Not that I have alot of readers. I started this site as a place to vent more than anything. But it's nice to know there are people out there - and I don' t mind comments. Just wanted to say that I didn't take them off, they just have a mind of their own.
In other news, worked on the sales floor all day today, got yelled at because school starts Wednesday for me and I'm "not available" as much as I should be. Got a line on a new job with really good benefits though that I can pretty much set the hours, come and go as I please, etc. Kind of what I signed on for here but didn't get.
The phone is semi-working. I have 3 phone jacks in the kitchen, only one of them works. And it is the only one in the house. What a pain. But that's OK. At least I can sit in my dining room and do stuff. Although I'm sitting on the floor due to lack of dining room furniture. That's OK too - I've turned my dining room into a playroom. No toys off the green rug - that's the rule. Any toy straying off the green rug goes in toy-time-out for a week. So far the sustem works OK, it's just you can;t see the green rug for all the toys.
No other real news. Kids are asleep and I'm enjoying some down time.
Still no phone. Talked with phone company, they said they'd call me when they could come by. Hello? My phone doesn't work!!! And the &$@#% on the other end of the phone didn't take the time to get my cell. OK. At least I had some time this morning to come in and run reports so I can at least get online.
Other than that, no news. And at this point I guess no news is good news.
Good thing for today: It's Friday, and I should be done here in about an hour.
Tried once again to go to the Health Dept. to get youngest child vaccinated. Once again I had to leave because the wait is so long I ran out of money to feed the parking meter. So, these "free" shots cost me, so far, $5 for parking, $96 in lost wages, and that doesn't include the gas to get there. So my boss is on my case since I've tried 3 times to get this kid shot, and I still don't have it done. And I'm out $101 in pay. Sheesh.
And my phone at home is screwed up. Now I can't call in or out. They will try to fix it tomorrow. I am having withdrawls.
Some good things - finally got allergy meds for middle child. They were called in to a pharmacy WAY across town. But at least I have them. Youngest went to the dentist for the first time - no cavities! Oldest is as happy as can be expected from a teenager. And at least I have DSL at work so I can get on some. Yes, I threw myself a huge pity party today. Even had to pull over to the side of the road because I was crying. I felt so alone. And then the wheels started turning in my brain.
Since I've been on a Tolkien kick, I thought, "I feel like Frodo - but I don't have a Sam to lean on." Then I realized I feel like Sam. He had to take care of Frodo, and he didn't have anybody to lean on himself. Just his own strength and the duty he had to Frodo and the Quest. And although I'm not a hobbit, not on a perilous quest, not any of those things, I do have only God and myself to rely on, and a duty my kids. Geez, I need a nap. Next I'll be comparing my ex to Sauraman (or a Bolrog) and calling my kids by hobbit names. OK - I'm snapping out of it.
Well, other than my momentary lapse into despair and bizarre thinking, I'm fine. Back at work, being somewhat productive, and feeling that all may not be right with the world, but all is not lost either.
Now that I have some idle time I've picked up my old copy of Fellowship of the Ring and am completely enjoying it. I love the movie - but if it's a good movie of a great book, it just whets my appetite to read the book. I know that they can't put everything in the movie that's in the book. And alot of Tolkien's time is spent describing stuff. A three-page description only takes second to show on film. The mood it takes him paragraphs to convey can be just a couple of bars of the score. I think the film is beautiful. But it just made me want to read the books again.
Anyway - during my studying I was looking for help in my class, and I found the place I want to work. If this guy is indeed a teacher there, as I suspect. Of course he may be a student, in which case I'm transferring post haste. Anyway - this guy has done The Lord of the Rings in Lego. Check it out! This person has WAY too much time to kill. But it's cool anyway.
Back to work. Still in the throes of trying to get the youngest all set at head start. Tomorrow we go to the dentist. And shots. Don;t forget shots.
Yes, I have endured, yet again, the dreaded ACS Organic Chemistry Final. Hooray!!! Hooray!!! And this time I think I probably pulled a solid B in the class so I never ever ever have to take it again. Now my biggest decision is setting the book on fire and dancing around it, or selling it. I won't get much money for it, and although the fire will be pretty, I should probably sell it anyway.
Had the day off today, studied. Fought with the insurance company trying to get new inhaler. They still refuse to pay. We are bringing the spare from school every day now. I just hope we don't lose that until I can get a new one.
Middle child has lost rescue inhaler. Other one is at school and spare is empty. Since I just got a refill last week for school, I can't get another one. I am just hoping we don't have an asthma attack. I really really really have no desire to go to the ER. We were there a few weeks back for stitches, and of course oldest's surgery. They're great people, but I have no desire to see them again anytime soon.
Other than that not alot of news. BF dropped by for a bit, we were going to go hit a cache or two nearby, but he didn't want to go out without the inhaler either. So he played with my kiddos and let me (read insisted) that I study. So I did. He has his kids next weekend, but I work, so we'll probably just meet at McD's and let the kids go wild.
If I lived in Middle-Earth, it would be in: Lothlorien or Rivendell
You prefer the tranquilty and peacefulness of nature and enjoy the milder seasons of the year. While you know it is necessary to keep in contact with other living beings, most of the time you enjoy the seclusion of an aesthetically pleasing, woodland environment.
My final is in two days. I feel like I know less than I did when I started all this. However, I only need to make 12 on the final to pull a B in the class. I do need to pass it though because it is a standardized test covering both semesters of organic chemistry. And I cleaned my apartment today. I studied for an hour, cleaned for an hour, etc.etc.
Kiddos made it to their designated places fine yesterday. And my oldest went to work today, but was miffed that I wouldn't stop at the mall on our way home. Sorry, but I have studying to do. After two years you'd think they'd realize that when I have to study, the world essentially needs to stand still for me. But they don't, they just get MORE demanding. Oh, well. At least I only have the one class this semester, and I'm only taking four classes instead of five next semester, and I'm also putting off my labs. Maybe not the best thing, but at least I'll be home when the kiddos are for the most part.
The weather here was glorious today. Slightly overcast most of the day. Not nearly so hot or humid. If I hadn't had to study we'd have been geocaching today. And unfortunately can't go tomorrow either.
Some more good news - I'm getting a new dishwasher!!! Apparently so many of the dw's have blown out they've decided to replace them all. Mine isn't dead yet, but I mainly use it as dirty dish storage until I get a chance to hand-wash the dishes. Basically, it doesn't clean at all. So maybe the new one will. At least it will be white like my other appliances instead of the ugly yellowish cream color this one is. I really miss my house right now - I had beautiful brand-new black appliances. A huge fridge, an ice maker, a great dishwasher, and a flat-top range. Of course my washer and dryer were junk, and were the only ones I could bring with me. I had to replace them this year. Oh well. Even though I don't have the house anymore, the apartment means I don't have to mow the grass, fix the pluimbing myself, and since we only have half the space I only have half as much to clean. I wonder if I'll ever have a house again.
My first grader forgot we are supposed to be a van rider instead of a car rider. Got left at school. Got several apologies from administration since it is really their responsibility to make sure kids get where they're supposed to go at that age. Other that that things went well there.
My 10th grader had a less than stellar day. Apparently all the teachers, except the drama teacher, are idiots. They are on a block schedule so they only have four classes a sememster. So 3/4 of our teachers are idiots. History teacher is a coach. Math teacher is pregnant and griped because the smell of some kid's deoderant was making her nauseous. And the sound of gum chewing apparently makes her nauseous too. And we got homework in psychology so that's bad.
There are not enough books for each kid to have their own math or history books. But they just build a new band room. At least they have their priorities straight. (insert sarcastic smirk here).
After I got home from school last night I made hamburger helper (on sale at Kroger for $0.98 a box!) and crashed on the couch. Kids went to bet at 8:30pm, slept all night. Whooppee!!
Good thing for today: The ceiling fan I installed 18 months ago mysteriously started working today. hairakat Friday, August 09, 2002
Thursday, August 08, 2002
Last night the kiddos were all in bed and asleep by 9. And I couldn't go to sleep. Watched Lord of the Rings all the way through twice, and even watched some of the bonus stuff.
I did manage to add comments to the blog though. So at least I wasn't totally non-productive. What's that? Organic Chemistry final is next week? Sorry, could you speak up??
Today I got everbody to where they needed to go on time, stopped by the grocery store and picked up a frozen somethiing for lunch, and came into the office. And NOW I could go to sleep. Right here, right now.
I'm working till the kids get off today running reports and doing other meaningless paperwork I could do from home but my boss insists I do it here. Oh, well. At least the hours are generally flexible.
Good thing for today: Kids seemed to have a good start to their day. hairakat Thursday, August 08, 2002
Wednesday, August 07, 2002
The kids are in bed. Summer is over. When they wake up it will be to get ready for school. Not daycare or camp or anything fun. School. OK, so my youngest isn't in real school yet, she doesn't start headstart for two weeks. But still.... There's something sad and yet exciting about the last night of summer vacation.
In a fit of nostalgia my oldest found this - The Log Song from Ren & Stimpy. K1 is in a band, and they want to do a cover of it.
Right now I am watching Lord of the Rings. My mom surprised me with it today. And quite a shock it was as she usually doesn't even get me anything even for birthdays and Christmas. Weird. But nicely unexpected. I guess there is some fun in dysfunctional after all.
Good thing for today: Lord of the Rings!! And kids in bed and asleep by 9pm. hairakat Wednesday, August 07, 2002
Monday, August 05, 2002
My middle child almost drowned today. I got off work about two hours ago, came home, and took the kiddos to the pool. Now the pool at our apartment isn't huge - it's 3ft at either end and 5ft in the middle. Middle child is 4ft tall, so can touch the bottom at the ends. Anyway - kid was in a floatie tube, drifting around the pool and splashing, near one of the ends. Youngest was sitting in a floatie on the steps, screaming because there was a wasp within 20 yards. SO I went to shoo the wasp away and middle child slipped out of floatie right in the middle of the pool. And k2 can't swim. So I jumped in and pulled my baby out, scared and crying, but otherwise OK. Kiddo didn't make a sound, if I hadn't turned around just then I'd never have know. Now we are afraid of the pool. But it has had a positive change on our attitude. When we came in I started cleaning up, and kiddo asked me,"Mom, is there anything I can do to help you?" I almost fainted, as this is the child who would rather take a nap then clean up.
Now my baby is asleep in my lap and I'm just relaxing until oldest gets home, then I'll go to the store. Yippee!! hairakat Monday, August 05, 2002
I have a million things to do, and don't want to do a single one of them. I'm at work today - the office manager had to go to a funeral, so I'm sitting here in her place. Enjoying the DSL, but not enjoying being here in general. I've done all the stuff that had to be done RIGHT NOW!!! and anything else I pick up will be involving and I have to keep running up and down stairs, so I can't really get started.
Oh, well. Guess I'll get started on the flyer for the medical fall line. Wish the office manager/web goddess was here - I have tons of stuff I want to pick her brain over. As I stated before, I'm very new to all of this, and just learning HTML. She's helped me a bit, but alot of what she says goes way over my head. Last week she was mad at our boss because she has to use his programs to do the web site here and she syas they are a pain. But since she is moving soon she has to keep it simple so he can do it when she leaves. Or (gulp!) he says he might give it to me. Although I can make the design better, I have no clue how to do anything else.
We kissed and made up, so to speak. And, he agrees with me. So once again the woman is right. Of course I didn't rub it in, didn't even say "I told you so." Just smiled and made my oldest mad because we wouldn't get off the phone. Tee Hee.
Anyway, we're taking him geocaching next weekend. He's never been and thinks it sounds like fun (it is!!). His kids will be with their mom, my oldest has to work, so it'll just be the 4 of us.
I may have taken this one before, but I don't remember. One of these days, I'll get all my inane quizzes together in one place. This will give you a more comprehensive view of my personality, and serve as a warning that I'm not really as stable as the smile on my face might suggest.
My boyfirend and I got in a huge fight today. I mean HUGE. Now, this is the first guy I've gone out with since my divorce 3 yrs ago. And we don't really date, we hang out alot and call each other often to see how we are. Our kids hang out together too. But as yet we've only kissed a couple of time (and never in fnt of the kids) and only hold hands, etc. when we're alone (which is rare.)
Anyway, today he met me for lunch. Very sweet, and also unexpected. He asked me to go away with him next weekend, leave my kids with my mom, his kids with their mom. And I said no. Right off the bat, no hesitation. No. I don't feel like we're that close. Plus my middle child has severe emotional problems and I don't think it would be a good idea to leave right now. We start therapy in two weeks. School starts next week. (on Thursday but we'll start going Monday for childcare). It's just not the right time. So he gets mad at me. Says I don't love him.
Truth is, I don't. I've known him for about a year, started seeing him socially about four months ago. Got closer about two or three weeks ago. We talk ALOT. Chat on-line, call each other, heck, we're on the phone more often than my teenager. BUT I don't love im. I could. One day I might. But today I like him very very much. I am attracted to him. But I don't love him.
I guess I'm afraid. I've been hurt badly. My marriage ended horribly, and I don't want to make that kind of mistake again. My ex cheated on me from the time we met, and that didn't stop after we were married. What really ended it was finding out that I had a step-child younger than my middle child. I know my current bf isn't my ex. I know that in my head. But in my heart, well, it takes longer.
And so we fought today. And now I'm in tears and feel like crap. My oldest is at a party (well chaperoned, I checked) and my little ones and I just got back from Wal-Mart. And I got on to see if he was on and he isn't. I want to apologize, but for what? I told him that I wanted to take things slowly - we have 5 kids between us - ages 14, 12, 8, 6, 4. To me, that in and of itself is enough reason to take things slowly. This just isn't the time, we aren't that close. If we DO get that close, wonderful, but if we rush things then we'll never get there.
OK. enough. Time to snap out of it. I'm off to do the dishes.
Good thing for today: Fixed inflatable punchin bag - now kids can work off energy on it instead of each other. hairakat Saturday, August 03, 2002
Friday, August 02, 2002
I'd rather be Caching...
Got a call last night that I needed to be in the store today, so here I am. And of course it's an absolutely beautiful day. Had hoped to hit a couple of caches today, but no such luck. Maybe the kids and I can hit some of the ones closer to home tonight when I get home.
One thing is for sure, I DON'T want to be here. And I have to come in tomorrow too, most likely. Oh, well. My lunch break is over and hopefully K1 is cleaning the house. And the other kiddos are enjoying their last weekend before school starts.